Our internal dialogue is our harshest critic. It often stops us from taking action due to fear of failure. I am not ready yet, I don’t have the skill, remember the last time I screwed up – such thoughts bubble up with fear of failure.
Reframing is a powerful technique for overcoming fear. Here is how it works for fear of failure:
What would you say to a friend who messed up? Odds are, it’s going to be very different than what you would say to yourself. When you notice your inner voice being critical, offer a compassionate thought. Rather than thinking “I am so dumb”, try “No big deal, I did my best”. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Go easy on yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat your friend.
Once you have accepted mistakes are okay, the next step is just as important. Practice recovering from your mistakes. Imagine you are giving a speech and fumbled your words. Instead of cringing or apologizing, stay composed and carry on. Your audience does not even notice many times and even if they do, they are forgiving. The audience moves on, unless you make a big deal out of it or spend a long time apologizing for it. They will admire you for carrying on so easily. You will seem even more relatable and approachable – more human, just like them.
It’s not about never making a mistake – it’s what you do with mistakes that matters. Don’t let failure define your self worth. People who never make mistakes never get started.
Next time when you sense that fear of failure is stopping you from taking action, take charge of your inner dialogue – give yourself the permission to fail. You might surprise yourself and actually succeed.
