The Gap Between Expectation And Reality

If your expectation is an annual income of 100K but the reality is that you are making only 60K, that gap is stress.

If your expectation is to have a great relationship with your significant other, but the reality is that you constantly fight, that’s stress.

If your expectation is to drive a BMW Series 7 and your reality is a Toyota Corolla, that’s a source of stress.

To reduce stress, consider changing your expectation or reality such that they converge. Either lower your expectations or work towards changing your reality so that it rises to meet your expectations. Some periodic stress can be good when it motivates you to improve your reality. But chronic stress sets in if reality continues to lag your expectations.

Stress disappears when expectations and reality converge. Congratulations if you are already there. Beyond that, what happens when your reality exceeds your expectations? That’s the state of bliss and joy.

In 2004, New York Times interviewed Stephen Hawking who was paralyzed and was unable to talk at age 21 due to an incurable motor-neuron disease. Through his computer, Hawking told the interviewer about his excitement on his new book.
“Are you always this cheerful?” the Times asked.
“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus,” he replied.

How can one explain Hawking’s cheerfulness and lack of stress against such great odds? The answer is that Hawking’s reality, however difficult it may seem to an outside observer, exceeded his expectations. Stress does not depend on objective conditions of wealth, health, or relationships. Rather, it depends on subjective expectations.